this time it’s complicated 

This time it’s complicated my love.
With the boy, I looked into his perfect face for hours,
intoxicated by his beauty.
Just me and him, my heart pouring out love.
With you it’s different.
My love still flows, endlessly
You are perfect, a smile of innocent beauty.
A gift to which I feel underserving.

But I am wracked with guilt,
As an adulterer,
As I steal a heartfelt gaze
As your toddler brother watches on
Wondering what it all means.
Searching for reassurance.

 

Inspired by: the confusion of new baby arrival 

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