The salt breeze

The salt breeze blew
the sadness back,
to my upturned face
angled as if to the sun.
Memories stroked my skin
gently ruffled my hair
flooded me with fondness
required me to remember.
The warmth
the familiar warmth caressed me.
‘I remember’ it said
and the tears flowed.
‘I remember when you were you
and we floated together.
When you breathed me in
and sweated me out.
When everything quickened your pulse’.

Ekphrastic poem

I saw them there that night
circling round
hand in hand, heart in heart
enjoying the wildness.

They worship me
mesmerised by the
depth of my beauty.
Hypnotised by my eternity.

I licked the sky
higher and higher
fuelled by their adoration.
I licked their downy fur
gave warm familiar pleasure.
I licked their shadows away
fed their intensity.

Pembroke Castle

We stood in the rain that day,
wind gusting, buffeting us close.
Two sisters, bellies full
and half full with child:
gortex coats stretching, not closing,
hoods drawn down, peaks dripping.
Mum, inappropriately dressed, as usual,
in fluffy white jacket with sparkles,
wool hat, no waterproof, no wellies.
Pop, flat cap topped, three-fleeced-zipped-in,
wrapped for the mountains again.

We stood in the rain that day,
huddled together:
not just for the photograph,
but for the fun of it, the warmth of it,
the great big silly grin of it,
high on the ramparts in a force six gale.

 

Memories of a family day out, recalled from a photograph.

full

When I see you skip
(as a pigtailed movie star)
along beside me;
Velcro shoes and grazed knees
up high,
I feel full.
Full of gratitude that your heart
is so light, so free
that your grey sock clad feet
cannot stay on the ground.
I feel full.
Full of contentment
that just for the moment;
that very moment
I might of
presented a world
where you shall not be grounded.

poem for seren books christmas card

I submitted to Seren books the verse below for their Christmas card competition – I didn’t win but…

Reunited

Here we are once more,
our bodies remember
the bends and hollows of each other,
wrapped against the winter’s chill,
nestled.

Your confident heart
reverberates my slight frame.
My hesitant heart
quickens with your steadiness.
They beat their dance, a knowing tune
a rhythm of remembrance
young and light
once more.

basking

Where else would you be
except here.
A king size made for three
sometimes four
when the night terrors wake.
Open all hours
for comfort and nurture.
You lie central
arms outstretched
Queen of the new world
basking
in the warmth
in the aura of love.

espresso

I don’t understand
where the water goes, you said
as you interrogated
the waste pipe plumbing
to the sink at music class.
Your three year old stature
convenient for inspection.

A quizzical look on your face
a mirror of images
in the emotions book
we had read and practised
years before:
happy, sad, confused…
And my heart exploded
with an electric shock
of love
which coursed through me.

An espresso shot
to a decaf soya latte self.

old friends 

It’s been a score of years
yet more
since we met.
First netball court foes
then school class allies
heartaches and discos
slack through the Uni years
reunited through
wedding weekends away.
And now
babies’ later
I see you afresh
sitting on tiny chair
conversing with my son
as the centre of his
three year old world.
He’s beaming
and so is my heart.

Inspired by EW chatting with my son

sleep

I’m Brigette Jones again
staring at my loved one
while they sleep:
my daughter, still fresh
into this world. 

A little caress,
a gentle stroke
on her blooming cheek
won’t harm
won’t wake.
Risky though. 

I might disturb
the innocent calm.
Can’t resist
the softness
of her tender skin.
The need
to be connected.
Inspired by: resting baby 

you take everything

You take everything
absolutely everything I have
and a little bit more. 

Every ounce of strength
every waking and half waking moment
until I’m doubting
doubting everything.
Until I don’t know the hour
day or month.
Until I can’t even count to five
to fill your bottle.
Until the washing machine is full
of dirty cups
And the oven full of dirty clothes.
Until I can stand up no more.
Until I don’t know my name.
I don’t know me. 

Because you took it all.
As that is what I offered. 


Inspired by : no sleep

actually

Actually
you intrigue me now
even more dear husband.
Now he has come from you.

From your slightly scruffy beard
and slightly too long hair
ruffled brow
and middle aged tum.

Actually
I love you more dear husband
when I think of our wonderful son.
The qualities that you gave
and now encourage.
Those parts, that perhaps
time has unfairly faded in you.

Another chance
has been given
a way back to yourself
unburdened by time.

 

inspired by snoozing husband and son

gardening

I attempted to sort out
my borders today.
Not with skill or expertise
but with panache. 

And I thought of you.
Your rose bud lips
in full bloom.
Your proud apple cheeks
Your dancing eyes
like petals in the breeze.
And the tender care
watering
feeding
protecting
It will be my privilege
to tend. 


Inspired by: newborn beauty

hello mummies

Hello mummies out there
In the middle of the night
Sitting up feeding baby
Time standing still around you. 

Hello mummies out there
Staring into the night.
Rubbing backs for burps
and settling tums
Time and time again. 

Hello mummies out there
I blow you a silent kiss
I’m here with you
Loving, feeding, growing. 

Inspired by : another long newborn night 

only love today 

Taking a deep breath.
A second to close my eyes
to frantically search deep inside
for that last elusive sliver of calm
that appears to have got lost
along the way.
Not now.
I need you now.
Stop moving, escaping
floating away on
emotions tide.
I need you now. 

Eyes open.
Words come.
I hoping from my good place.
From the tranquil pool
cool breeze
and sun drenched land
of imagined patience.
Only love today. 

inspired by: toddler time!

granny

Now you are here dear daughter
I remember my Granny even more.

Summer time
her hamlet cottage
sisters grown by
feathery grass fields
tree dangle caterpillars
tiptoe stream
and weighty encyclopaedia.
Gold trimmed lipstick
bedside teasmaid and
coral pink talc powder puff.
Delft coffee cup
crochet doily covered and
Clayderman ivories on tape.
Sweet cherry tomatoes
rainbow bell peppers in
Saharan heat greenhouse.
Caramel shortbread
still warm, hidden
in a worn tartan tin.


Inspired by mothers day

moonlight

The moonlight streams in
once again enticing me
to places not yet seen.
Conjuring adventures on far off lands
in corners it’s delicate rays conceal.

The moonlight draws me in
hypnotically
like a spider to its web
through delicate whisps
of steel strength.

Not this time moonlight.
Your promise shall not be fulfilled.
My adventure is here.
Not by candlelight, nor starry breeze
But by the glow of my babies’ nightlights.

Inspired by : a full moon

friends

I’m feeling a bit disheveled again
as I slop onto the bright white sofa.
Cushions arranged
Table polished
And bite size treats baked.

Effortless calm
around me
friends from long ago
still connected by years
of tapestry.

Maybe I should
have brushed, washed
and dressed myself
a bit more carefully.

Surrendered love
around me.
Not for show
Not everyday
Not just the good parts.
But come as you are
nice to see
and sew another stitch.

Inspired by AE and a catch up

sleep training 

Oh crikey
That smile
by moonlight.
The most wondrous
sight ever seen
I know I’m not meant
to notice
to acknowledge
to respond.
As it should be
back to bed
instantly.

But it’s irresistible
In the moonlight.
As my face
spontaneously replies
and I whisper
not now my darling
hoping no one has seen.


Inspired by : another long night

what do you dream 

What do you dream of little one?

A smile, enlightens your face
for the most beautiful of sunsets.
A scowl, flickers across
for a hurt received.
A quickened heart beat
for the thrill of the chase.
A frown, questions
the flight of a bee.
An upturned lip,
for the joy of fragrant flowers.
A serene stillness
from the peace that love brings.
A thousand years of memories
that have yet to be seen.

 

Inspired by: sleeping baby

right here, right now

All that matters is right here, right now.
This very moment of love and peace,
Oh so much love.
No shoes to put on, nor toys to put away.
No food to be fed, nor teeth to be cleaned.
No fight, no struggle, no for the hundredth time.
Just here, just now, you and me.

 

Inspired by: toddler cuddles

go away morning

Go away morning.
Let me lay here a
Moment longer
Surrounded by the warmth
that loves brings.
Go away morning.
I’m happy
In the relative stillness
of our family bed.

Those gentle, and not so gentle
Snores filling the air.
Four hearts beating their tunes
so close together.

Go away morning.
Let me hold on to this
just a moment longer.

 

Inspired by: a bed full of bodies 

hold this in your heart 

Hold this in your heart dear love
you are my world
your happiness is all I strive for.
Hold this in your heart dear love
you will always
have a home here
inside of me.

The payment
not gold coin, nor paper note
but a smile, a loving glance
that will fill my heart for hours.

 

Inspired by: my sleeping toddler

this time it’s complicated 

This time it’s complicated my love.
With the boy, I looked into his perfect face for hours,
intoxicated by his beauty.
Just me and him, my heart pouring out love.
With you it’s different.
My love still flows, endlessly
You are perfect, a smile of innocent beauty.
A gift to which I feel undeserving.

But I am racked with guilt,
As an adulterer,
As I steal a heartfelt gaze
As your toddler brother watches on
Wondering what it all means.
Searching for reassurance.

 

Inspired by: the confusion of new baby arrival 

everyone is asleep, except me

Everyone is asleep, except me,
our newborn daughter upon my chest,
comforted by the rhythm of my heart
she knows so well.
Our toddler son, in his big boy bed
still cocooned in your arms
as you raced each other to the land of nod
through story time.

Your snores I can hear,
intertwined,
through the monitor.

Everyone is asleep, except me
And I’m grateful.

 

Inspired by: the first few nights as a mum of two