this time it’s complicated 

This time it’s complicated my love.
With the boy, I looked into his perfect face for hours,
intoxicated by his beauty.
Just me and him, my heart pouring out love.
With you it’s different.
My love still flows, endlessly
You are perfect, a smile of innocent beauty.
A gift to which I feel underserving.

But I am wracked with guilt,
As an adulterer,
As I steal a heartfelt gaze
As your toddler brother watches on
Wondering what it all means.
Searching for reassurance.

 

Inspired by: the confusion of new baby arrival 

everyone is asleep, except me

Everyone is asleep, except me,
our newborn daughter upon my chest,
comforted by the rhythm of my heart
she knows so well.
Our toddler son, in his big boy bed
still cocooned in your arms
as you raced each other to the land of nod
through story time.

Your snores I can hear,
intertwined,
through the monitor.

Everyone is asleep, except me
And I’m grateful.

 

Inspired by: the first few nights as a mum of two